During his annual training camp opening ceremony Jerry Jones preached to fans that "Y'all should come to Cowboys Stadium and watch us beat the Giants' asses". That ceremony, by the way, included skydivers.
This old bastard just needs to crawl into a hole and die. Seriously. All this talk about how "Y'all should come to Cowboys Stadium and watch us beat the Giants' asses," and bringing the Cowboys back to the "Glory Hole Days" (see video above) should be a red flag for Alzheimer's or something. He needs to be put into a home. Jer, you do know that before you "beat the Giants asses" in Cowboys Stadium, you play them on opening night, right? Regardless though, the Giants record in your $534.7 trillion stadium is 3-0. Remember last year?
It still stings doesn't it? And news flash Jerry, the Glory Hole Days in Dallas are long gone and they ain't coming back. They've been over since Troy Aikman hung up the pads to jerk off Joe Buck in the broadcasting booth. Times have changed. That star in the center of your field that use to represent "Americas Team" has lost its mystical powers. You can't even call the Cowboys "Americas Team" anymore anyway, because when Jerry fills his stadium 74% of the fans must cross the Mexcian border to attend the game. The Cowboys glory hole days are long gone, but a new team has stepped forward. The New York Football Giants. AND Mr. Jones, you my friend built them the most expensive Glory Hole of all time. That massive hole in your stadium that lets God watch the Cowboys play, is now Eli's Glory Hole, and once a season he gets to sticks his monstrous cock in it and tell every single member of the Cowboys organization right down to the hotdog venders to suck his dick.
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